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Article I
For me the most challenging aspect of going through, or assisting others to go through, any of the transformative stages or awakenings is the aspect of ego death.
By that i mean the destruction of the need to control, wanting,
judging, needing and any desires based upon other peoples actions or external situations. Along with this is the toughest of all things, and that is understanding 'thought reality' is often far from actual reality...
In its infinite wisdom, the universe teaches us this through crisis. Most often taking away what
we need, think we need, or desire most. This is the time when most often we are pushed deep into our own selves and struggle with why we feel a certain way or respond in certain ways.
But its through this 'going deep inside' that we are meant to learn some of the toughest lessons. The situations force us to dig deep and
examine our emotions thoughts, past and to question our life path and purpose. Tough as this is its (
I believe ) the singular largest transformative process a human can experience
and much of what i write about and many of the spiritual / metaphysical
practices encompass this foundational principle of loss of the ego
mental model of "me" with all its flaws, to allow that deeper
connection to the inner spiritual energetic "me' that the universe
made..
This is what i refer to as spirituality, the time where we really find out what we're made of and are tested to the MAX. But whats beyond this awesome experience is profoundly wonderful.
Its when the brain stops questioning and the senses give us the answers. Its when we're once again in tune with the universe and our place in it. When we really feel that however bizarre our path and the events on it, that it has a purpose and meaning.
Im often
criticized for telling people 'not to think' but truly its most often thoughts and trying to analyze situations
that's so confusing because the mind works in a very logical way. Often only negative. ( Still
nobody's called to say
they're worried they will be too happy ! )
Logic will never understand the total human condition, where emotions work with or conflict with
thoughts. Why people do strange things and why we see repeated patterns of events. The mind is far too simple a tool to understand that.
The process of transformation is meant to get us to a place where we can accept and 'understand' everything on an intuitive level and not need to reconcile things into one answer.
That's what the brain does it needs a purpose a reason and a timing. When we transcend that and can really deal with the universe on its multiple levels we find that inner peace, sense of self and oneness
Article II
Ego Death is the singular most powerful
spiritual release and transformation ( sometimes referred to as rebirth
) - its the experience of detachment from the mental ( ego ) perceptual
model of self...
This construct of ego self is simply a mental construct and is formed
over time as the programming of how we react to the outer world, and how
it reacts to us, forms and constantly modifies this programmed model of
self, along with deep perceptions of validation and position in a
hierarchical society...
The ego self forms attachments that validate and devalidate, judge and
measure. The ego self is intrinsically judgmental, co dependant and
disempowering...placing all validations on external stimulus.... And its
only from these attachments, judgments and associations - validations
and devalidation that comes the pains and trials of everyday life.
The human brain supports this ego self in tha it creates alternate
"realities", hypotheses and concepts to support and build a structure
around the ego self. Justification, defensiveness, reassurance and other
abstracts all keep the brain busy as it works at this....
This ego self is everything we call "I" and is the filter through which
we view the world prior to rebirth or awakening....
To comprehend ego death as a mental construct is a paradox.....
For example, if i described a house with a red roof and green shutters,
the brain constructs a mental 3 dimensional model ( construct ) in order
to give us visual comprehension and assimilate ( imagine ) this
house.....
So how can we imagine or perceive death of a construct by using a
construct.... we cant. In other words there is no mental way to fully
assimilate an understanding of the death of ego prior to the actual
event...
So how does the process work, well soul connections are one BIG trigger.
The ultimate validation comes along then just to be torn away... The "psyche"
( i don't like that word as a description but lets just use it in this
instance as a summation of a persons mental / emotional self ) gets torn
and ripped and pushed into trauma.
We wonder why as the one thing that was the conclusion and the answer
becomes utter destruction. And indeed destruction is the order of the
day because the process of rebirth requires a death...
Extreme pain and loss and sense of loss of part of self are natural and
purposeful in the process of ego death. Feeling like the very fabric of
self is being torn apart is usual - but its not the real self, only the
ego model and its attachments... Because that's how we view the world we
fight the pain, we fight loss of self and emotional trauma - we struggle
and struggle.
However the other side of the pain is rebirth, the inner connectedness
that we couldn't have imagined before the death of the old way. If we
welcome the pain - allow it to do its work we become free...
In the old way there was judgment, opinion, perspective, viewpoint,
belief, likes and dislikes, attachments and dependencies.... Post
rebirth there is one view, one way and one peace, the peace of a
connectedness to REAL self and the universe which has always been the
same universe and is the same for all. Same laws, same reason, same
purpose and same mechanisms and we all see it the same....
The drugs of reassurance and validation - the dependencies and
addictions of mankind are no longer needed.....the sense of peace and
purpose and the ability to love all without need are profound and
real...
If you've ever heard that the physical world isn't real this is what was
meant by that. In losing what we perceive as self, we find true self. If
you feel your already losing part of self dont go looking for it - it
may well be part that isn't real self and you may be on that journey...
Let go and fall....Bring on the pain, let it do its work its there for a
reason and what's beyond it is profoundly freeing....
Article III
In the ego mode where we seek satiation, we need that partner to call us
and come to us or we need to be recognized in the job or we need friends
to like us, the ego mode is in its most dependant and potentially most
destructive...
Remove an important satiation and we become needy. The ego mind in order
to satiate will reach out for reassurance - allowing the pain of need to
be validated as a "reality" of some sort to justify actions..
In the ego mode we reach out for reassurance. As we do that the brain
constructs many different mental logical models of why we dont have what
we feel we should have to take the pain away, to satiate. Often it will
do what the ego mind does and further attack self esteem, reasoning that
for some reason we don't deserve what we need, or that somehow fate has
left us behind. This makes the need for reassurance even more profound
as we seek other mental models of reasoning to understand so that we can
satiate the pain. Differnet reasoning different thoughts, around and
around but with no permanent loss of the pain of need.
We reason this, and that and this and then we reach out for a third
party reassurance. Anything to take that pain of need away...
If we cant get satiation, we blame. Often we blame the person who we
perceive in the moment is keeping us from removing the pain of need.
This can be family, friends , the loved one who wont call, anyone who
wont give us the drug of reassurance - even people we've recruited to
help . ( try this job for just a week if you want to sample that one ).
The ego mind will construct reason after reason, many having little or
no basis in fact, and will assign responsibility and blame to those who
don't or cant help us satiate that pain.
In addiction therapy this is often refered to as the "insanity"... Even
without any clinical addiction there's need, co
dependancy and 'insanity' - often the drug is acceptance or reassurance.
All are ego mode states.
Until we've defused or transcended the core emotions that drive this
process through ego death, every living human is subject to it at any
time... Finding the truth that everyone is subject to this ego mode
model which is simply programming and can be transcended, and that
transcending it brings us to true oneness... is the core of all
spiritual progression.
Most of us find this ego death such a hard process because we have
learned ot think of ourselves as our thoughts, our opinions, our fears,
our likes, we have become the very ego that needs to be detached from
and therefore to many theres such a profound feeling of loss of "self"
in this process and indeed there is - but not or REAL self, of perceived
"self" which is simply that ego construct of a culmination of all events
that have happened to us and shaped our perceptions.
In finding this path there is no "ah-ha" moment, no intellectual
process, no thought, no board, no book that can make this happen. The
reason that we think there is and we keep looking is because we have
learned to do everything with the mind, to find new answers that obey
the simple logic, to give us the magical insight of the mental process
and yet there is none.....
The universe at her deepest level, and ESPECIALLY people, don't obey
logic and never did and yet the mind can only work at a linear logic
level where it needs A+B=C to make "sense of something.
Once we stop trying to use such a simple devise to find complex answers
then we can look inside at the deeper multi level, multi dimensional
reality of existence and thing come clearer. Finally we can purge the
residual emotions that were the land mines of daily existence and they
wont control us any longer
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